Another first for me today. After all the things I expressed in my last post, and Shannon asks me if I want to take the 4:30pm Bikram class with her. Keeping in mind I had already taken the 9am class and had eaten a rather large and delicious Hawaiian BBQ lunch... let's just say I was hesitant.
The 60 Day Challenge is not necessarily 60 Classes, one a day. If you miss a class one day, you can make it up by doing a double on another day. I had talked about doing doubles to make up for me more then likely bailing on weekend classes to have a personal life and whatnot. It's the first week and I already KNOW I am missing tomorrow. Sunday I am really only going cause my not-boy-friend is playing golf in the morning so I decided to sneak in a class before the Super Bowl parties begin. Other weekends, who knows what I am doing, but I had kind of already dismissed them as non Bikram days.
Driving to the studio this afternoon, I started to doubt myself. What in the hell was I thinking??? I was going to pass out, or worse... vomit chicken katsu everywhere. Hitting every red light on the way, it seemed like the universe was telling me to turn around, return home, and watch The Tudors in my pajamas. But I didn't listen to the universe... what's it ever done for me anyway? I went. I walked in the studio and there was Shannon with her happy smiling face with a place set up for me and kind words and tons of encouragement. AND I DID IT! The whole 90 minutes. I did not once sit out a posture. I worked just as hard as I did at the morning class. And I feel great.
And now... next time I miss a class... I KNOW I can make it up with a double! I can DO THIS!!! And I am doing it for me!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Holy Crap... I touched my toes!
Sometimes it is the little things in life that can make you the happiest. Today, I touched my toes. In the proper, straight leg, straight back kind of way. This may not seem like much to most people. However I have never been able to do this seemingly simple task.
In high school, PE teachers would yell at me, thinking I was being lazy. I was 120 pounds and 5'5''. When I bent forward at the waist, I could reach to just about below my knees. I liked to blame it on how my legs were too long for my arms to reach my feet. Haha. High school thoughts are funny. I remember distinctly a time when my PE teacher walked up behind me and without my knowing what was about to happen, placed a strong palm on my back near my shoulder blades and gave me a good hard push down. I nearly screamed, it hurt so damn bad... Not to mention it could have done some serious harm.
I've just gone through life thinking I would never be able to touch my toes. And that brings us to my meeting Shannon and getting into Bikram Yoga. Before I meet my dear friend, I had never even heard of Bikram Yoga. I had done one "normal" yoga class and honestly hated it. I know I wasn't taking it seriously, but it just wasn't something I could ever see myself doing regularly. Shannon told me to try Bikram. She was all excited to get me into one of her classes so I could see what it would do for me and my health issues. "So it's yoga, in room that is heated to 105 degrees... Yea, that sounds awful." But hey, for $20 I'll give it a try.
I went, I tried, and I thought I was going to die. The heat, the sweat, the smell. The fact that she was asking me to bend in half and place my forehead on the floor between my feet... Um... Right. Half the class I was sitting and telling myself I was never gonna come back. But two days later, I was there again. It wasn't necessarily easier for me, but I wanted to try. Really, honestly try. Then my intro classes expired... and Bikram is expensive. So that was fun for what it was... And that was probably about 10 months ago or so...
After talking with Val, the owner of the studio, I set up a trade... I would work the desk for a couple hours a week and she would let me practice. Awesome. Unfortunately, this was all in the midst of my hospital/blood clot/ health issues (So Here's the Thing...) I had practiced, rather sporadically for about a month and a half, then was readmitted to the hospital for the second round of blood clot drama. When I got out of the hospital, my leg was so swollen and sore I could barely walk and the limping affected my opposite foot. I was a freaking mess. I couldn't practice. And I was OK with that. I wasn't ingrained in the Bikram way at that point, so no skin off my teeth. Val gave me December off and told me to start up again in January. When I was ready to start up again, the unpleasantness that shall not be named happened. I was out until the third week of the month.
When I came back to it, everyone was talking about the 60 Day Challenge. It was set to start on the 31st of January. Basically, students are encouraged to take 60 classes in 60 days. I could maybe try and do that. Haha. All I could think was that I hadn't practiced in over 7 weeks and before that my practice wasn't all that wonderful. This might end me. That last week before the challenge started, I practiced to get myself as ready as I could.
Now I am five days in. It's been hard. Making myself go. Getting it into my schedule. I am sure most of the posts from here on out will revolve around this challenge and what it does to me personally, emotionally, mentally, and physically. So be prepared for that...
But hey... on the bright side... I touched my freaking toes today!!!
In high school, PE teachers would yell at me, thinking I was being lazy. I was 120 pounds and 5'5''. When I bent forward at the waist, I could reach to just about below my knees. I liked to blame it on how my legs were too long for my arms to reach my feet. Haha. High school thoughts are funny. I remember distinctly a time when my PE teacher walked up behind me and without my knowing what was about to happen, placed a strong palm on my back near my shoulder blades and gave me a good hard push down. I nearly screamed, it hurt so damn bad... Not to mention it could have done some serious harm.
I've just gone through life thinking I would never be able to touch my toes. And that brings us to my meeting Shannon and getting into Bikram Yoga. Before I meet my dear friend, I had never even heard of Bikram Yoga. I had done one "normal" yoga class and honestly hated it. I know I wasn't taking it seriously, but it just wasn't something I could ever see myself doing regularly. Shannon told me to try Bikram. She was all excited to get me into one of her classes so I could see what it would do for me and my health issues. "So it's yoga, in room that is heated to 105 degrees... Yea, that sounds awful." But hey, for $20 I'll give it a try.
I went, I tried, and I thought I was going to die. The heat, the sweat, the smell. The fact that she was asking me to bend in half and place my forehead on the floor between my feet... Um... Right. Half the class I was sitting and telling myself I was never gonna come back. But two days later, I was there again. It wasn't necessarily easier for me, but I wanted to try. Really, honestly try. Then my intro classes expired... and Bikram is expensive. So that was fun for what it was... And that was probably about 10 months ago or so...
After talking with Val, the owner of the studio, I set up a trade... I would work the desk for a couple hours a week and she would let me practice. Awesome. Unfortunately, this was all in the midst of my hospital/blood clot/ health issues (So Here's the Thing...) I had practiced, rather sporadically for about a month and a half, then was readmitted to the hospital for the second round of blood clot drama. When I got out of the hospital, my leg was so swollen and sore I could barely walk and the limping affected my opposite foot. I was a freaking mess. I couldn't practice. And I was OK with that. I wasn't ingrained in the Bikram way at that point, so no skin off my teeth. Val gave me December off and told me to start up again in January. When I was ready to start up again, the unpleasantness that shall not be named happened. I was out until the third week of the month.
When I came back to it, everyone was talking about the 60 Day Challenge. It was set to start on the 31st of January. Basically, students are encouraged to take 60 classes in 60 days. I could maybe try and do that. Haha. All I could think was that I hadn't practiced in over 7 weeks and before that my practice wasn't all that wonderful. This might end me. That last week before the challenge started, I practiced to get myself as ready as I could.
Now I am five days in. It's been hard. Making myself go. Getting it into my schedule. I am sure most of the posts from here on out will revolve around this challenge and what it does to me personally, emotionally, mentally, and physically. So be prepared for that...
But hey... on the bright side... I touched my freaking toes today!!!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Must be Bilingual (rant)
As if finding a job wasn't hard enough... Many of the places advertising decent jobs require the applicant to be bilingual. Fluent in Spanish or Chinese seems to be the more prevalent desired language. I'm not trying to be racist or anything, but this is America. Right? The national language is English?? I feel that hiring someone based on the fact that they are bilingual should be included up there with other -isms. Languageism should be made a real thing and then fought to be eradicated. If you can't turn me down for a job based on my race, sex, age, etc, I don't think you should be able to simply because I don't speak two languages. Don't get me wrong. I would LOVE to be able to speak another language. I took 3 semesters of Spanish in high school and college and it didn't stick in my brain. Perhaps if I was able to use it in everyday use everyday it would have worked better. But I didn't, and so it didn't and here I am. If I was going to move to a country where English wasn't the national language (and let's face it, the list of countries that speak English is quite long) I would do my darndest to learn whatever language they speak. I would not expect the locals or natives or whatever you want to call them to bend to me because I am more special. I'm not. It's their country and their language and I will do everything I can to fit in and live among them. This is NOT the case with many Americans. OK, OK, OK.. America is the "melting pot". A place for people from other countries to come and live a better life. But how do you expect to come to a country and not even bother trying to learn the language?? We end up with these factions in our cities, Little Italy, Chinatown, Filipinotown, Alhambra... Places where groups of people of the same decent can live and work and shop among their own kind. I don't mind you having your own places to go with people that are like you. Just don't turn me down for a job because people don't care enough about learning the language of the country they live in. If people are so proud to be Americans maybe they can put a little effort into it.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
A Day in My Unemployed Shoes
7:15am - Wake up
8:00am - Alarm finally goes off (note: time spent between waking up and when alarm goes off is normally spent perusing the internet and playing World Of Warcraft)
8:30am - Start water warm up for shower after patiently waiting for roommate to be done with the bathroom
9:15am - Complete morning ritual, including showering, brushing teeth, dressing, hair and make-up
9:30am - Visit Anticoagulation Clinic at Huntington Hospital for INR test (note: appointment takes about 10-15 minutes and costs be around $180 every time I go in. The real miracle is getting out before the 30 minutes parking time is up so I don't have to pay $5 for parking.)
9:45am - Rush back home to shave legs and get more dressed up for impending interview.
9:46am - Check mailbox for mail and receive letter from USPS letting me know that a letter was 'inadvertently damaged'. Freak out because it was my unemployment claim form.
9:49am - Calm down. Email EDD regarding replacement form.
10:00am - Leave house way to early for interview.
10:15am - Decide to visit mom at work on the way to waste time.
10:20am - Mom isn't working. Get back in car and continue on to interview.
10:45am - Park at 412 N. Santa Anita Ave in hopes of finding where I am interviewing so I am not late.
11:15am - Realize that interview is being held at 610 N. Santa Anita Ave. Rush to car, drive a few blocks north, park at business.
11:29am - Get to interview with minutes to spare. Relax, breath, smile. Nail it!!! (note: I do not know if I "nailed it!!!" But I would like to think I did.)
11:45am - Conclude interview. Return to car. Drive around talking myself out of going places. End up at Target to get toilet paper. $45 toilet paper...
12:02pm - Remember to take coumadin on time (almost)
12:57pm - Return home. Fix ham and cheese sandwich for lunch. Return to computer in room for perusing of internet and playing World of Warcraft.
3:48pm - Become bored of everything and begin writing blog. Write blog on how boring day has been.
3:57pm - Post blog.
8:00am - Alarm finally goes off (note: time spent between waking up and when alarm goes off is normally spent perusing the internet and playing World Of Warcraft)
8:30am - Start water warm up for shower after patiently waiting for roommate to be done with the bathroom
9:15am - Complete morning ritual, including showering, brushing teeth, dressing, hair and make-up
9:30am - Visit Anticoagulation Clinic at Huntington Hospital for INR test (note: appointment takes about 10-15 minutes and costs be around $180 every time I go in. The real miracle is getting out before the 30 minutes parking time is up so I don't have to pay $5 for parking.)
9:45am - Rush back home to shave legs and get more dressed up for impending interview.
9:46am - Check mailbox for mail and receive letter from USPS letting me know that a letter was 'inadvertently damaged'. Freak out because it was my unemployment claim form.
9:49am - Calm down. Email EDD regarding replacement form.
10:00am - Leave house way to early for interview.
10:15am - Decide to visit mom at work on the way to waste time.
10:20am - Mom isn't working. Get back in car and continue on to interview.
10:45am - Park at 412 N. Santa Anita Ave in hopes of finding where I am interviewing so I am not late.
11:15am - Realize that interview is being held at 610 N. Santa Anita Ave. Rush to car, drive a few blocks north, park at business.
11:29am - Get to interview with minutes to spare. Relax, breath, smile. Nail it!!! (note: I do not know if I "nailed it!!!" But I would like to think I did.)
11:45am - Conclude interview. Return to car. Drive around talking myself out of going places. End up at Target to get toilet paper. $45 toilet paper...
12:02pm - Remember to take coumadin on time (almost)
12:57pm - Return home. Fix ham and cheese sandwich for lunch. Return to computer in room for perusing of internet and playing World of Warcraft.
3:48pm - Become bored of everything and begin writing blog. Write blog on how boring day has been.
3:57pm - Post blog.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Back to Reality
You know when you have so much going on in your life, it's just nice to get away from it all? May I recommend doing just that... This was taken from my aunt's property in Snowflake, Arizona. It's 40 acres of nooks and crannies to explore, miles from anywhere. No cell service. No nothing. I spent 4 days with my best friend, hiking, riding horses, collecting meteorites and petrified wood, shooting soda cans with rifles, relaxing, and not thinking about any of what awaited me in Los Angeles...
Driving back yesterday, wasn't stressful... until we crossed that Colorado River and entered California. Almost immediately... Gas was $1 more then it was just 5 miles back... People started driving like assholes... I literally reached the 210 and started having panic attacks at the amount of cars weaving in and out of traffic at speeds much too high. Got home... looking forward to a glass of water and watching a movie to fall asleep to... Walk in my living room and there is plastic hanging from the ceiling (at least my landlord is FINALLY fixing the leak in the roof from our last big LA storm) and my roommate informs me we are out of toilet paper (but we have kleenex so apparently everything is fine)...
I have been off the grid for 4 days. No contact with friends or family aside from those I was with. No facebook. No twitter. No email or cell phone. I had been home for 15 minutes and already I am thinking about hopping back in the car and driving back the 10 hours to be back without all those things I thought I so desperately missed. Even now... updating my facebook, twitter, and blog, like there is any one who actually cares about what I write here... I am laughing at myself for doing it. I could quite literally move to the boonies of Arizona and be perfectly happy. I would have internet access... there are companies providing 'High Speed Access to ALL of Arizona'. I could keep in touch with everyone I care about and goodness knows they would all be more then welcome to visit me wherever it is I settle...
Could you imagine it? A house. Acres of empty land around you. A water tank and windmill and solar panels... A generator for when those aren't enough to power what you have going. A couple horses. A couple dogs. A couple guns. A large collection of books. What more do you need??? I could definitely live like that.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Finding a job... in this day and age...
December 23, 2010. The company I had a pretty awesome job with was bought out by another, much larger company. New company decided to sack all employees but one, two days before Christmas. Well, I thought I would have myself a nice vacation. Take the week off between Christmas and New Year and enjoy myself. I would find a job in the beginning of January and all would be right with the world... Right?
It is now January 12, 2011, and still no prospects. Now, I'll be the first to admit that there hasn't been a whole lot of searching. I am not desperate enough to be out pounding the streets looking for any old minimum wage, restaurant job I can get. Not yet anyway. And I have been dealing with a lot of health issues that have hindered the whole stomping the pavement in the search. However, I have been putting my resumes in to "respectable" companies, looking for some sort of office admin position.
The problem is, I don't want to go back to retail. I had a taste of the office life... and I liked it! I want to have to look nice and have my own desk and take actual lunch breaks. Is that so much to ask for? The only problem I have with attaining these goals, is that I have no "experience" in the industry per say. So potential employers look at my resume and go... OK, retail, retail, restaurant, retail, customer service, no thank you.
I know that I could be amazing at the jobs I am applying for. Office assistant at an elementary school. Office admin for a firm in Pasadena. I just need some soul to give me a freaking chance in their office. I have great phone skills. Am ridiculously organized. Competent with a computer. I'm not an idiot. Common sense and what not are in order. So what gives?
I'm bored. I feel useless and unwanted. And for that matter, grossly under-qualified. Just because I can't speak three different languages I shouldn't even bother applying. Nice. Give me a chance and I will rock the pants off that office job. But until I have experience I won't even be considered. What kind of fucked up Catch-22 is this?
It is now January 12, 2011, and still no prospects. Now, I'll be the first to admit that there hasn't been a whole lot of searching. I am not desperate enough to be out pounding the streets looking for any old minimum wage, restaurant job I can get. Not yet anyway. And I have been dealing with a lot of health issues that have hindered the whole stomping the pavement in the search. However, I have been putting my resumes in to "respectable" companies, looking for some sort of office admin position.
The problem is, I don't want to go back to retail. I had a taste of the office life... and I liked it! I want to have to look nice and have my own desk and take actual lunch breaks. Is that so much to ask for? The only problem I have with attaining these goals, is that I have no "experience" in the industry per say. So potential employers look at my resume and go... OK, retail, retail, restaurant, retail, customer service, no thank you.
I know that I could be amazing at the jobs I am applying for. Office assistant at an elementary school. Office admin for a firm in Pasadena. I just need some soul to give me a freaking chance in their office. I have great phone skills. Am ridiculously organized. Competent with a computer. I'm not an idiot. Common sense and what not are in order. So what gives?
I'm bored. I feel useless and unwanted. And for that matter, grossly under-qualified. Just because I can't speak three different languages I shouldn't even bother applying. Nice. Give me a chance and I will rock the pants off that office job. But until I have experience I won't even be considered. What kind of fucked up Catch-22 is this?
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
So Here's the Thing...
Since October of 2009, my life has been one big huge piece of crap.
In October, I started having breathing issues and it was all down hill from there. First it was bronchial spasms that were so bad it felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest with an ice pick any time I took the smallest of breaths. UrgentCare gave me some steroids and an inhaler, and I was fine within the week.
One week after that I couldn't walk upright or sit down without being in intense pain. I thought it was from an old snowboarding tail bone injury. Turns out it was an infected cyst. A Pilonidal cyst (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilonidal_cyst) to be exact, or two of them to be even more so. Right on my tail bone, like growths coming out the top of my butt crack. Getting those removed was the most painful experience I had ever had (up to that point in life anyway, don't worry, it gets better). Not to mention the pain and antibacterial meds they had prescribed me made it so I couldn't keep food down for 5 days. It was great in jump starting my metabolism and making me lose a bunch of weight though, so I won't be too mad about that.
About a month after that, those same pesky and utterly painful breathing issues came back. Only thing was, this time, it wasn't just bronchial spasms. They sent me to the ER so I could have a cat scan and blood work done. I had a freaking blood clot. Three to be exact. One in my leg, a rather large one that had made it swell up and become difficult to walk on. And two, smaller ones, that had broken off from the leg clot and moved up into my lungs. So THAT'S what that pesky breathing issue was caused by. Hm, good to know.
That's me, 28 years old, a week before Thanksgiving, and I am holed up in hospital because of some slim chance disease for geriatrics. GREAT! I had a DVT [Deep Vein Thrombosis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DVT)] and a PE [Pulmonary Embolism(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulmonary_embolism)].
They put me on Coumadin (Warfarin). I had to go to the hospital every week or so to have a blood test so that they could make sure that my blood was performing well on the medication. What a pain in the ass. It affects everything in life. You can't drink (I did anyway). You can't eat certain foods that are too high in vitamin K (I never really ate those anyway). You have to take the pill every day at the same time. HUGE pain in the ass. Ten months I was on it, until August 2010. Then we rescanned the leg and the clot was gone! GONE!! Excellent. Life was gonna get better...
Well fuck. Two weeks after the wonderful news, while enjoying my first Philippe's famous French Dip, my tooth began to ache. Oh yeah... Had my first wisdom tooth/cavity/tooth extraction all in one. That was awesome too. All well, had to happen sometime I suppose.
November rolls around and wham! My leg is swollen and hurting and I am back in the ER for that same damn thing. Cat scans and blood tests and peeing in cups, oh my! Well fuck my life all over again. Last time they assumed, due to my age and birth control use, that it was a simple mess up with the birth control. No more oral contraceptives for me, I can live with that. This time, they have no idea WHAT'S going on. Why would it come back? I don't know. Let's run a bunch of really obscure blood tests that even the nurses are wondering about to try and figure it out. GREAT! I felt like an episode of House, except my medical issue wasn't tied up neatly in a hot little Hugh Lorie package within the hour. Nope. I'll probably be on Coumadin for life. All those tests they ran, came back negative. They still have no idea what is going on or why I am getting these clots. Some weird blood anomaly apparently. Well hell. Thanks alot modern medicine.
December 2010 started a whole new batch of issues with my body and health. Issues that I am dealing with right now. I would go into them, but they are still to personal and emotional, so for now... That is my medical history up to date. And don't forget, that is just from October of 2009... AND this is only my health, I haven't even gotten to the personal and professional part of the last few years. I will save that for another blog.
In October, I started having breathing issues and it was all down hill from there. First it was bronchial spasms that were so bad it felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest with an ice pick any time I took the smallest of breaths. UrgentCare gave me some steroids and an inhaler, and I was fine within the week.
One week after that I couldn't walk upright or sit down without being in intense pain. I thought it was from an old snowboarding tail bone injury. Turns out it was an infected cyst. A Pilonidal cyst (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilonidal_cyst) to be exact, or two of them to be even more so. Right on my tail bone, like growths coming out the top of my butt crack. Getting those removed was the most painful experience I had ever had (up to that point in life anyway, don't worry, it gets better). Not to mention the pain and antibacterial meds they had prescribed me made it so I couldn't keep food down for 5 days. It was great in jump starting my metabolism and making me lose a bunch of weight though, so I won't be too mad about that.
About a month after that, those same pesky and utterly painful breathing issues came back. Only thing was, this time, it wasn't just bronchial spasms. They sent me to the ER so I could have a cat scan and blood work done. I had a freaking blood clot. Three to be exact. One in my leg, a rather large one that had made it swell up and become difficult to walk on. And two, smaller ones, that had broken off from the leg clot and moved up into my lungs. So THAT'S what that pesky breathing issue was caused by. Hm, good to know.
That's me, 28 years old, a week before Thanksgiving, and I am holed up in hospital because of some slim chance disease for geriatrics. GREAT! I had a DVT [Deep Vein Thrombosis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DVT)] and a PE [Pulmonary Embolism(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulmonary_embolism)].
They put me on Coumadin (Warfarin). I had to go to the hospital every week or so to have a blood test so that they could make sure that my blood was performing well on the medication. What a pain in the ass. It affects everything in life. You can't drink (I did anyway). You can't eat certain foods that are too high in vitamin K (I never really ate those anyway). You have to take the pill every day at the same time. HUGE pain in the ass. Ten months I was on it, until August 2010. Then we rescanned the leg and the clot was gone! GONE!! Excellent. Life was gonna get better...
Well fuck. Two weeks after the wonderful news, while enjoying my first Philippe's famous French Dip, my tooth began to ache. Oh yeah... Had my first wisdom tooth/cavity/tooth extraction all in one. That was awesome too. All well, had to happen sometime I suppose.
November rolls around and wham! My leg is swollen and hurting and I am back in the ER for that same damn thing. Cat scans and blood tests and peeing in cups, oh my! Well fuck my life all over again. Last time they assumed, due to my age and birth control use, that it was a simple mess up with the birth control. No more oral contraceptives for me, I can live with that. This time, they have no idea WHAT'S going on. Why would it come back? I don't know. Let's run a bunch of really obscure blood tests that even the nurses are wondering about to try and figure it out. GREAT! I felt like an episode of House, except my medical issue wasn't tied up neatly in a hot little Hugh Lorie package within the hour. Nope. I'll probably be on Coumadin for life. All those tests they ran, came back negative. They still have no idea what is going on or why I am getting these clots. Some weird blood anomaly apparently. Well hell. Thanks alot modern medicine.
December 2010 started a whole new batch of issues with my body and health. Issues that I am dealing with right now. I would go into them, but they are still to personal and emotional, so for now... That is my medical history up to date. And don't forget, that is just from October of 2009... AND this is only my health, I haven't even gotten to the personal and professional part of the last few years. I will save that for another blog.
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